Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, describes an involuntary, uncontrollable, and obsessive desire for another person. This fixation can lead to significant distress, disrupting daily life, and potentially impacting others negatively.
While anyone can experience limerence, it's more likely to occur in individuals with anxiety or depression. It's believed to affect 4-5% of the general population, though it's difficult to measure.
Limerence is characterized by intense thoughts, physical discomfort, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies towards the object of affection. It can be distinguished from conventional passions and romantic feelings by its unilateral nature and the potential for negative consequences.
There are three stages: passion, crystallization, and deterioration. Limerence is often linked to anxious attachment styles, where individuals fear rejection and crave constant reassurance.
While research on limerence is limited, therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help individuals manage their emotions and break the cycle. Self-awareness, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion are crucial for navigating this experience.